I was assisted before setting off for the West Highland Way by Trail Magazine’s snappily-titled Slash Pack Weight feature last month. With a strapline of Climb More Hills, this enthusiastically presented feature provided a good mixture of entertainment and sound advice for myself and Mark while we planned our trip and invested in items that may assist with future expeditions.

I love walking magazines. I love the zealous approach to walking experiences, the genuinely interesting articles, the routes provided, and the gear/equipment geekery. Walking magazines are a good route (no pun intended) into the world of recreational walking and provide many good pointers for people like me who need a little guidance. In my youthful days of hitch-hiking, tree-dwelling etc. I carried a massive, ill-fitting rucksack stuffed with wet sachets of Beanfeast, hippy accoutrements, essential oils, random packets of homemade incense, and large, shapeless, unisex hempen garments. My tent was usually carried separately if at all and my flute plus whatever music books I had deemed essential for any trip weighed me down in a way that was manageable while hitch-hiking, but which would make long-distance walking unbearable. Looking back I realise that I actually carried crystals – in other words actual STONES – in that badly fitting rucksack and I don’t recall a single photograph of myself from between the ages of 17 and 23 where I appear to be appropriately garbed for the Irish/Welsh/Cumbrian climates in which I was carousing. Since this is the last era of my life in which I spent a considerable amount of time outdoors or camping, it is fair to say that I need some pointers for this new, more sensible era.

At the end of the Slash Pack Weight article there was a handy suggested exercise, in which you unpack your rucsac, organising everything you used into two piles; the pile of stuff you would take again, and the pile of stuff that you wouldn’t. I hereby present my two piles of equipment, categorically divided into WIN and FAIL piles for ease of comprehension.

Food WIN pile:

Pimped-up ready-brek. In a ziplock bag I organised the inner bag of a packet of ready-brek, plus a smaller ziplock bag filled with a mix of salt, sugar, dessicated coconut, peanuts, raisins etc. I also took a small plastic bottle filled with dried, skimmed milk. With these items we prepared amazing porridge each morning in not very much time, saving on cooking gas. WIN.

Dried joy goodness. I also took a small ziplock bag of dried goods with which to improve and fortify other foodstuffs; this was also a light, delicious, life-improving food WIN.

Food FAIL pile:

Sourdough camping bread kit. Although the idea of creating fresh bread chappattis each day while camping is in principal quite appealing, the realities of lugging starter plus flour plus proving container plus seasonings proved to be rather too heavy and this ‘essential’ item was abandoned before we even left the house. The breads we made with the starter on our return were amazing, but would not have turned out so well had we been trying to make them in the mostly wet conditions of our holiday. Food FAIL.

Fresh Miso. I always knew that once opened, this sachet of wet sauce inside my tightly-packed rucsac would pose a considerable spillage-threat to my clothes etc., but even the ziplock bag that I folded it into was only just able to contain the sticky brown overflow when the pressure hit. Food FAIL.

Clothes WIN pile:

Hopscotch socks. Each night, after walking for miles, I slid off the amazing 1000 mile socks (see next WIN), laid them out to dry at the bottom of the tent and donned the blissfully soft, tasty lusciousness of these handknit socks. They kept my feet dry, toast and comforted every night. Clothes WIN.

1000 mile socks. I have practically no blisters after wearing these socks on the 20km+ days of our walk. Clothes WIN.

The Rowan River Stole. Anytime I was cold I could either tie this around my midriff or wrap it around my neck for instant warmth. It folds up into an impossibly tiny little bundle and weighs very little. Clothes WIN.

Howard Moon pants. For the reference, check out this youtube clip of the Mighty Boosh and check out the part where Howard Moon explains that his naff tweed suit zips down to swimming trunks. My Howard Moon pants (purchased at the Army Surplus Store) zip down into shorts, dry swiftly, are light and durable, and have an incredible quantity of pockets. They cost 25 of my fyne Englishe pounds, which is much less than their pricey counterparts in the outdoor wear stores. Clothes WIN.

Clothes FAIL pile:

The amazing hourglass sweater just didn’t do it for me this time. It was too heavy while wet, too hot while walking, too difficult to dry out and too bulky for my streamlined packing job. Clothes FAIL.

Expensive kit WIN pile:

Thermarest prolite small sleeping mat. Although this was pricey, it offered a fantastic sleeping surface each night and weighed not very much. Expensive kit WIN.

Bush Cooker. Although the performance of this item was greatly hindered by a lack of good tinder (my bad) and quite a lot of rain (nobody’s fault) it is very light to carry, fits inside my camping pot perfectly and provides free, practically carbon-neutral cooking in any camping situation. It also endows all camping experiences with the joy of a fire, without the dangers of scorching the earth or burning down the tent. Expensive kit WIN.

Bargain WIN pile:

We found bargainous, lightweight sleeping bags at Blacks outdoor store in the sale and were delighted with the results. I enhanced the heat-keeping activity of my lightweight sleeping bag by wearing thermal underwear whilst inside it and this kept me super cosy. In fact I had to take all the thermals off at one stage because the sleeping bag was warm enough for me by itself. I am the first to freeze on any trip, so this was total bargain WIN.

Hygiene WIN pile:

LUSH solid deodorant. This was awesome. I cut a lump off this and wrapped it in foil for lightweight deodorant action. It smelled good, didn’t work against my body, and didn’t weigh me down. Hygiene WIN.

That is it for now but a much abbreviated version of these lists goes like this:

Clothes: Don’t take cotton clothes if rain is expected. They never dry, dampen everything in your bag and smell rank. Wet cotton clothes also get very heavy and weigh you down. Lightweight woollen items are excellent but may be bulky. Waterproof trousers with loads of pockets are a must and don’t skimp on socks. Also, a waterproof jacket is essential as are – naturally – decent walking boots. I lived in a base layer that I bought in January (sadly synthetic) and some Army Surplus trousers that zip down to become shorts. I find many pockets to be a necessary aspect of camping/walking trousers, along with the ability to dry at lightning speed following rain.

Packing: It isn’t necessary to buy loads of expensive dry sacks or even a rucksack cover. Ziploc bags keep everything dry and allow you both to see what is in each one and to compartmentalise, so that you can put different things in different sections of your bag. It is totally worth investing in some very small tupperware containers and small plastic bottles so that you can repackage things you will use in small quantities. In this way you carry only what you need and aren’t lugging full bottles of suncream or washing up liquid around with you.

Sleeping: It is totally worth making sure you have enough comfort at night. A decent sleeping mat will ensure good rest after long walking days and as such, is an invaluable investment. I decided I didn’t need a full length one and when I wanted my feet up, I rested them on my rucsac. Taking thermal underwear instead of pyjamas is a way of doubling up on functionality. Thermal longjohns and a long-sleeved thermal vest can double up as layers under other clothes on cold days as well as being snug at night.

Feet: Good boots and good socks are not worth skimping on as you only have one pair of feet and they will do a lot of work on a long-distance walking holiday. Compeed blister plasters are, in my experience, rubbish. It’s better just to not get the blisters in the first place and the 1000 mile socks are really worth getting for this reason alone.

Rain: Ziploc bags protecting all your clothes plus a couple of bin liners for bigger items are good for keeping the gear dry. A good waterproof jacket and waterproof trousers also help, as does keeping tea and sugary treats handy.

Snacks: Check out your local Asia Market for such treats as individually wrapped pickled mango slices, dried sweet potato and roast chestnuts. Add chocolate, fudge, raisins, dried apricots etc. and stuff into a good tupperware container for constant spirit-lifting injections of much-needed nutrition!

Food: Take anything dried that you like but avoid tins like the plague. They are messy, difficult to dispose of and weigh a ton. It is also unnecessary to faff about with fresh milk when you can take dried. I personally like the Bush Stove for pottering evenings when there is time to gather firewood etc. but when you are in a hurry, an amazing, light gas stove plus a small cannister (like this) does an excellent job. We took Primus Litech kettles which doubled up as bowls, cups (the lids) and pans, weighed very little, and carried our respective stoves inside themselves.

If you have any tips on lightweight packing, equipment WIN or FAIL scenarios from your camping holidays, please share them here!